Leaning toward Steve i said, “Goodness,
it is scary.” He nodded in agreement. Then as i stepped up to the
guard to be scanned, she said, “You are scared? Why are you
scared?” Shocked that she had heard me, i replied, “No i'm not
scared, i only spoke to my husband about something that is scary.”
The female guard looked me in the eye and said, “i know, and yes it
is.” She felt the same way i did, she understood.
We had been driving most of the day,
headed north. Stopping to buy some groceries, we approached the
entrance of a store just as a young woman stepped in front of me to
get a cart before entering. She was not rude, no offense was taken.
But it was her clothing that caught my attention and gave me pause.
She was wearing a full hijab, with a niqab, (where a small slit
allows only the eyes to show). I've grown accustomed to seeing them
here and there, but usually they are in full black. Her's was
different.
It's still hard to believe i live so
far from my homeland. But, i do, it is real, and daily my Abba
stretches me to know more of Him, His ways, His plans. I no longer
allow myself the indulgence of seeing things with my own eyes only.
There's just so much more to be seen, understood, and done. Looking
with my eyes alone would only limit me from seeing the real reason
i'm breathing. There's more, there's always more. And the more Abba
wants for His kids is not purchased with coins, instead it's found in
obedience to whatever He is saying in the moments of any day.
Finished with the guard's scans,
assured we carried no weapons, she smiled warmly as we entered the
store. The fully-robed lady walked in front of us, and i noticed how
everyone stared at her. She did draw attention to herself, but even
from behind i sensed she did not want to be noticed.
Some might think me silly, but another
thing i have learned living in this country, is when in doubt----- it
is time to pray. And honestly, i am in doubt so many times every day.
Doubt of what someone is about to do, how the police are about to
behave, where the crazy matatu drivers are going when they fly past
us on the dirt side of the roadway, the doubt goes on and on.
I grew up where there was order, rules,
and for the most part people followed those rules. If they didn't,
they eventually ended up in jail. But that is not the case here.
There are rules, yes, but they are viewed as suggestions not
requirements, unless of course the random police officer decides to
enforce them. All this to say, it is always wise to pray... always.
So we spend much of our time praying. It feels completely normal to
us now. The crazy swirl of piki drivers, noisy loudspeakers, guards
with guns, a riot of colors, and languages from 120 different
dialects all within this one wonderful country of Kenya, doubt
prevails, so must prayers. For sure, i love this country and its
people, but it keeps me ever on my toes, no scratch that, it keeps me
on my knees.
So as we walked down the first aisle
and i noticed her shrinking shoulders responding to the
ever-watchful-eyes of everyone she met, i prayed.
I'm not trying to sound all holy and
perfect when i say that i prayed. Please don't read it in that way.
Instead, it was a prayer asking for protection, and an asking for
her. I needed her to not do anything to harm anyone. But i could not
ignore that she needed someone, anyone, please s-o-m-e-o-n-e pray for
her.
If i believe my Abba Father is who He
says He is (and i do), then more than anyone, i know the depth of her
intense need for Him. Imagine it --- she does not know the One who
made her, she knows nothing of His love for her, she eeks through her
days dry on the inside because she has not one drop of living water
flowing through her parched soul. It hurts to see her with those
eyes.
But hey, why am i getting all prayerful
and deep in the middle of the market ---- i'm there to buy onions,
chicken, and yogurt right??
Still, i prayed, “Father God, you see
her, you know her, help her please... and as for us, no harm is
allowed to come near us in the Name of Jesus. I'm covered and cared
for by the One who is above all things... no weapon formed against us
will prosper... Father help her...”
As i said amen, she went straight and i
turned right.
It was over ---- now, ..... where do
they keep the creamer i like in my tea?...
Steve went one way, i went another. We
Americans, we like to be efficient with our time. Our plan, we'd be
in and out in less than 5 minutes.
But two minutes later as i headed
towards the yogurt cooler, guess who was standing near the cheeses?
Reaching for the yogurt, she spoke to me. She said, “Could i please
speak to you?”
Within 2 seconds i had 10 solid
emotions rush through me.
The afraid-woman should pretend i
didn't hear her, ignore her, and walk away quickly.
But is that why i'm breathing...?
The defensive-woman should level her
with a hard glance and ---- walk away.
But that's not who i am...
The unsure-woman would respond with
trembling hands and her doubt would be smelled by all.
Nope.
But the woman who knows who she belongs
to and why she is breathing again today, knows, buying yogurt isn't
what matters. People matter.
So i paused for a breath prayer (i'm
not kidding about praying allllll the tiiiiiimmmmmme).
Looked at her and said, “What did you
say?”
“Could i please speak to you?”
“Certainly.” Lord, fill this
space.
And i prepared
myself for what i suspected she might want to say to me. Had she
heard my words at the entrance speaking of how “scary it was”...
had she known i was speaking of her clothing and how it covered
everything but her hands and eyes? Was she about to confront me?
Lord, fill this
space...
I stepped a bit closer, so i could
understand her timid voice.
Lord, fill this space between us...
And she said, “I
am the oldest of 7 children. We live with my grandmother. My parents
both died in a car accident in 2008, my grandmother has cared for us
since that time. She is now very old and very sick. Caring for the
family has fallen to me, and i need a job please, i will do whatever
is needed. I can cook, clean, it's only that i need a job.”
Lord, help me help her...
I shared with her
briefly that we already have a dear lady who cares for our home so
well, so no job was available. But i pressed ahead quickly to say,
“The only thing i can do for you is pray for you, that God will
make a way for a good job to come.”
By now, she was
looking me in the eyes, and giving me the unspoken permission to look
into her eyes. Much is said when eyes meet.
She responded and
said, “Please do pray for me, since your God is my God, and he will
hear your prayers.”
Lord, give me your words, your know
what she really needs...
Ever so carefully,
as gently as is ever possible, I said, “Thank you for letting me
pray for you, but you must know, my God is Jehovah. And by the way
you are dressed, shall i guess that your god is allah?” She nodded.
“But still, may i pray to my God for you?”
And the look in her
eyes...
if only words could
match the depth...she knew she needed more than just a job... she
knew...
She looked around
cautiously and said, “Yes, please, perhaps He will hear you and
help me.”
I asked her name,
she softly gave it. I called her by name and said, “For sure my God
will hear a prayer concerning you, for whether you know Him or not,
He knows you and He loves you. So i will pray for you by name as i
go, but may i pray for you right now so you can hear what i will ask
on your behalf.”
And she visibly
shrank.
Her eyes darted
about as if enemies lurked in bushes near by (as if we weren't in the
freezer section).
She said, “You
mean here, you are asking to pray here?”
“Yes, you see my
God is with me wherever i am. He never leaves me, He is everywhere
and He always cares.”
Again... those
eyes.
When all you can
see of a person is their eyes, those eyes must be carefully looked
into. There is no tilt of the lips that can be assessed, no shrugging
of the shoulders can be seen, and no smirking face can be detected.
Only the eyes can speak when words are measured and all else is
hidden.
I called her by
name again and said, “I will pray with my eyes open, and even
looking at you, no one will know we are praying, only you and i and
the God who is a Father.”
Her eyes watered,
she shifted her face-cover, then ever-so-softly said, “p-l-e-a-s-e”.
And so in the
frozen food section of a public market, i carried her name to the One
who loves her. No veil can stop His great love-longing for her soul.
We prayed, i spoke, she remained silent, and there was kindness in
her trapped brown eyes.
Who was watching
her? Was anyone watching her? Why was she so afraid? Yet, she had the
courage to allow me to pray for her in public.
Fear. It is the
enemy. Fear drives people to do horrendous things to other people all
because they are afraid. They might think they are killing for other
reasons, but i've grown to understand, even the terrorists are
killing because of fear. They are afraid of their gods disapproval,
they are afraid of what their comrads might think of them if they do
not, they are afraid of being killed themselves. Two months ago we
sat and talked long with two young men who grew up muslim, but
converted to Christianity during their early twenties. Now they run
for their lives as even their own family members search for them, to
kill them, all in reverence to their god. These young men explained
to us how you are trapped in that religion, and if you try and break
free from it, you will suffer. One of them had been persecuted so
harshly for his Christian beliefs, that when he refused to renounce
Jesus, he was pushed from a four story high window. His stomach burst
on impact, spilling his stomach and intestines out onto the ground.
His last words to his attackers were, “You can not kill me even if
you push me, Jesus will save me, or He will take me home, but you,
you are not able to end me.” They pushed. He fell. He burst open.
He lived. Those who pushed him... two have died since that time, the
third is losing his mind and hides in his home, to afraid to be seen.
Why? Because he saw Jesus save the life of the one he pushed.
They knew.
Jehovah is the One
true God.
The lady in the
market, who allowed me to pray for her, she too knows there is
something more. She is trapped behind the veil... she carries an
aching soul inside. A soul that Jehovah l-o-v-e-s.
My life rarely has
space to read what social media conveys. I miss most of the whirl;
the words, the rants, the trending fads, the accusations and
declarations.
Still i know that
often times harsh lines are drawn by some who hate this group or
criticize that group.
But as for me, my
Abba reminded me as i walked out of the market that day, “Don't be
afraid, don't let the outside cause you to miss the inside that I
see. Just be where I guide you to be, and speak what I guide you to
say, and I WILL DO THE REST.”
We are not in this
world to win. We are not here to argue a point and come out on top.
We are not here to dominate and rule over others. We are not here to
be afraid.
If we call Abba our
Father ----- we are here to love Him and love others... and maybe we
will grow in our ability to live out the truth that love actually
covers over a multitude of sins --- love covers all --- love drives
out fear ---- LOVE WINS.
---- when you
see the veil covering the face ---- pray for the soul it is trying
to hide ----
thanks be to God
ReplyDeleteamen friend ---- amen
DeleteThank you for sharing..... As always I love the lessons you teach. Funny thing, just three days ago I found myself praying in the meat department at Kroger. A young lady was walking around the store asking for money to buy gas so she could get home. When she approached me I wasn't sure what to do either. When I push her away as I had observed others do. What I ignore her like the man she just talk to before me. Instead of just giving her money as she requested I had a conversation with her to find out a little bit about her life. She seems surprised that I wanted to speak to her. As I gave her a few dollars I felt God asking me to pray for her. I argued a little with him but consented knowing that he always knows best. When I asked her if I could pray for her she gave an eager yes. The best part of our encounter was her allowing me to pray for her quietly. She was nervous too but eager to be prayed for. I'm striving to be obedient to Christ no matter where I am. Following the prayer I felt a tremendous sense of peace and a connection with the woman I never met before. Jesus is called us to love...... So I'm going to love. Love, Caroline
ReplyDeleteYou are a lady who loves well Caroline --- i've felt it myself, i've seen it so often. God bless you friend for doing the MOST important thing you could do for the young lady in Kroger (ahhhh - i can't wait to stand in a Kroger again -- how goofy is that :) When we do something ourselves for someone else, then we have a pretty good idea of exactly what they got...... but when we do what we can and then pray for them as well, we have know idea how our Father might be meeting them in response to our prayers (long after we're gone from their sight). Prayers avail much.
Deleteso beautiful, the perfect love of God lives within you....
ReplyDeleteThank you for reminding us about what really matters in life. Such a refreshing reprieve from the politics of your homeland. Prayers for you and your family.
ReplyDelete