(Warning: This sharing is raw and
“uncensored” in ways I usually censor myself. I'm angry today.
I've been angry for a while now. I've stayed quiet. I'll be quiet
again tomorrow. I won't enter into debates and if ugly comments are
left in postings I will delete them. For most of my life i've
hesitated to speak strongly. People pleasers don't like to ruffle
feathers on other birds. Today, anger is overriding my
southern-genteel-ways. I will not discuss these words with those who
think their political opinions matter more than they actually do. I'm
simply stating the anger that's boiling over inside me and trying to
do it in an appropriate place --- not in anybody's face. So, you
might not want to read this sharing. It might make you angry with me.
If you do read, and if it does make you angry ---- i'm sorry. This is
not personal. It's just the raw me. Proof again of just how much I
need God's help.)
The Holy Words shake me. Shake me.
They can comfort. They can reassure.
They can guide or bring clarity or correct me hard.
But oh sometimes they shake me just as
surely as if the ground moved under my feet.
It happened again, and it's kept a
strong vibration shaking in my soul. That means it's time to try and
ink it out on paper. It helps to bring heart to paper and see the
clear contrast between what felt like muddled ink inside me sitting
rightly in front of me. Doesn't mean it is “right” when it comes
out - but only that it's no longer a blur inside. Sometimes
comprehending/facing the wrongs of this world can sit better when
they come out and are exposed. Maybe, we can better figure what to do
with them when they are in front of us rather than hiding out inside
us.
I read it in the book of Judges. “In
those days, Israel had no king; all the people did whatever seemed
right in their own eyes.” Over and over again those words come
throughout the pages of Judges. And the words trail after a telling
of some terrible thing someone did that “seemed right in their own
eyes”.
And it vibrates still because we live
in that same-same world today ------- don't we?
If you're fortunate enough to live in a
place where the agonies of many aren't physically in front of you
every day, then you might have just quirked your face a bit at that
last sentence. Implying that we live in the same-same days of
Judges..... what is she talking about?
People might think they “know” a
thing when they read it in the paper or watch it on the news reports.
In truth, we may know of it, we may have become aware, but we do not
actually KNOW a thing simply because we've been told about it. Sadly,
some people believe they know something after reading it on Facebook
or other social media outlets. If you know me well, you know, I do
not eat from the media troughs (social or network); I do not believe
something just because a reporter or facebooker says it. Wisdom might
tell us to learn more about a thing, but we should not act as if we
know anything prematurely. And a news report is not a good teacher.
When I read the words in Judges, “In
those days, the people had no king and they did what seemed right in
their own eyes”, I shutter. Always before, those words have
seemed somehow far away from me. Distant words spoken concerning
another place, another time. But, I cringe, because I know they are
as true today as they were when Samuel penned them. It happens so
often, we've perhaps become numb to it. People doing “their own
thing” at the cost of others, and getting away with horrific
offenses that are too often ignored, tolerated. Oh i'm angry today.
Why am I so angry? …......
- Because of the little girl who was walking home from school when two unknown men did what seemed “right” in their own eyes. They brutally beat her, raped her, and threw her broken body into the bushes. I'm f-u-r-i-o-u-s. The news will tell nothing of her. The men are free.
- Because of the monstrous actions of a dictator in Syria who gave orders to attack innocent people through chemical terrorism. He knew he was biting the cubs in an attempt to provoke the mama bear. Remember the bullies on the playground – they always provoked the weaker, in hopes to get attention and feel powerful. Assad is nothing more than that. He apparently did what seemed right in his own eyes. It's a warpage of the mind. Pictures released show the horrific suffering of those dear children. But since it's not us and ours, we somehow --- move on --- because we don't know what to do, right? But oh i'm so angry at those who are far from the war zone but have the audacity to criticize those who are trying to do something to stop the suffering.
- Because of the lady I met on the street this week whose nose had been cut from her face and knife scars surrounded her right eye. Someone, somewhere, long ago, did what seemed right in their own eyes. And she now wears a cloth tied around her face to try and protect the open sinus cavities her nose should be covering. Today i'm wrestling with so much anger.
- Because of the hard working donkey I looked at last week with open wounds running down it spine. The hard man with the kiboko (stick) bearing down on this poor animal's back was doing what seemed right in his own eyes, but the donkey suffered terribly under the stupidity of that man. So much anger.......
- Because when I take a few minutes to try and read about my countries response to the use of chemical warfare in Syria, and find that the UK and France have aligned with the leadership of my country, I also have to wade through soooooo manyyyyyyy peoplessssss opinionssssss on what THEY think the President should have done. I'm furiously angry today. People are hell-bent on giving advice and criticizing leaders, because people want what seems right in their own eyes, and they think leadership should comply. Never mind that the President has advisors and input from many who know much more than the average news-reading-joe on the street. And regardless of what people say about a President ---- if he prays to GOD before making his decisions ---- we are a fortunate country under him. Our beautiful America was in a mess before Carter, Reagan, Bush, Clinton, Bush, Obama, or Trump took office. These great men have worked to do the best they could to lead the most powerful country in the world in a horrifically fallen world. It's so embarrassing when people open their mouths to speak about what they do not know. Acting as if they know more and could do a better job than the one who is seeking God and trying to manage the position GOD has allowed them to hold. Do I agree with every decision every President has made? No. But oh I tremble to imagine what a mess I would have made of things if I had been the one bearing the weight on my shoulders that each of these men has born. I am furious with the critics. All of them!
- Because when a person chooses to walk into a school with a gun and they CHOOSE to kill others, anger erupts in all sorts of directions rather than at the wrongness of one person taking the lives of others. I am NOT a politically driven person and honestly, I avoid those who are. Why? Because I have seen with my own sad eyes how the politically opinionated talker will step right over the dead person in front of them to argue their political point. They will overlook the agony of the wounded one even while they use it for a platform supporting their OPINION! Oh i'm so angry at the person who cares more about their opinion than they do about the bleeding soul in front of them. Shoot me with your words if you must --- but here's a real truth ----- guns have the potential to do good or bring harm. It's all determined by the hand of the one holding them. And if a hand is bent on hurting other people ----- if the person intends to kill another ---- I personally would rather they be holding a gun in my face than a knife or a can of gasoline and a match. There. I've said it! Guns are much more merciful than hot paraffin poured on skin and lit with fire. And yes, i'm furiously ANGRY that a woman has been tortured and burned over 90% of her body by her muslim husband over the past 10 years. She's now being protected and cared for by another Kenyan woman. But the story is so horrific that the caregiver is needing counseling...... oh GOD. I'm so angry that the mouth-moving-opinionated-gabbers are still spouting off their judgements while quiet caregivers are loving the wounded and doing the hard work.
- I'm angry that months ago when someone asked me about yet another shooting in America, that before I could open my mouth to respond, an opinionated dominator shut out my response while she declared her disgust of our President and anger against guns. I stayed silent until she walked away. And the lady who had asked my opinion looked me in the eye and said, “I agree with you dear, guns don't kill, people do.” And I had not even opened my mouth. But I'm guessing the opinionated woman felt good about herself because she dominated the conversation. I'm also guessing she has never been chased by a person holding a knife threatening to carve her up after raping her. I despise knives. Always have. When I was 17 years old I was that girl chased by a crazy man with a knife. Thankfully, I got away. I've hated knives since that day. But I do not think knives should be outlawed. I believe the key of good or bad is found in the heart of the person holding the gun – knife – bat – fire – stone – etc. I'm so tired of the opinions of the masses muddling up the support of the leaders who ARE TRYING to do good! And my last word on this is ----- I was also the woman who had two men trying to enter her home to do God only knows what ---- but when I cocked my gun and held it up, they got in their truck and left. I never had to fire that gun, and i'm thankful for that. But just showing that I, a defenseless woman, had something I would use to defend myself and my children was all that was needed to end the terror of that day. Guns CAN do good in the hands of a good-hearted person. They CAN protect. They did that day.
I bet the “haters”
of President Trump would sit down and finally be silent ----- if they
had to endure one term of a dictator like Syria's Bashar al-Assad. I
bet words would change dramatically if those with such strong
opinions were the ones holding a dying child while its body writhed
in agony and it foamed at the mouth because a dictator had unleashed
chemical bombs. And one week later when the airstrikes began as
American, United Kingdom, and French forces bombed and destroyed the
known storage facilities of future chemical attacks, I bet they would
be thankful to see a powerful force standing against what had
destroyed that innocent, precious child.
I THANK GOD for a
President who will stand toe to toe with a monster in Syria and say
----- we will use our power and strength to stop you from killing
innocent people!!!! and yes, i'm a mother who has a son preparing to
enter into those places where protection is needed against monsters
who terrorize.
Until those who
have such domineering opinions have suffered and learned and truly
KNOW what they are talking about ---- they have NO right to speak.
Until they have
served in the places where monsters destroy innocence and something
bigger than them was needed to come to their rescue ------ they have
no voice against those who are trying to do the best they can to
help.
Until we've
literally felt the weight on our shoulders ----- we should NOT be
telling someone else how they should carry it.
So, today is a
very different kind of post than any i've ever written before.
Because today i'm “reaching for the Robe” of healing --- needing
help to process out and lay down the intense anger I feel over being
in a world where people do not honor the KING of KINGS, and instead
they just do what seems right in their own eyes. (And
sometimes they talk about what seems right in
their own eyes.) I'm sick of hearing their opinions
--------- in a world where we need to roll up our sleeves and DO
GOOD!
Suffering always
comes, when people do not honor the King.
Suffering always
comes when people just do what is right in their
own eyes.
People do not know
the way of goodness.
The King knows the
way.
God is the King.
We must follow
Him.
And pray for those
who carry great weight on their shoulders. God will put great weight
on the shoulders He knows can carry it.
(Opinionators
around them are like knats and fleas.)
Thank you
President Trump for trying.
Thank you
President Obama for trying.
Thank you
Presidents Bush, Clinton, Bush, Reagan, Carter, Lincoln, Truman, etc.
----- I believe you tried to do what was right for the country and in
God's eyes. You were not perfect; none of you were perfect. But not
one of you did only what seemed right in your own eyes!!!
You each tried to lead our great country with many advisors around
you. Some of you were brave and strong enough to lead her from your
knees; under the guidance of the King.
President Trump
said yesterday, “We look forward to the day when we can bring our
warriors home... We pray that God will bring comfort to those
suffering in Syria. We pray that God will guide the whole region
toward a future of dignity and of peace. And we pray that God will
continue to watch over and bless the United States of America.”
President Trump
reminds me of Peter in the Bible. He talks too much sometimes. He
says the wrong things sometimes. He is far from perfect for sure.
(But, remind me now, exactly how many of the opinion-mongers are
perfect?)
Still, President
Trump is clear about this. He speaks with the One who is above all
things and is brave enough to follow His lead.
I'm praying for
President Trump as he leads the most powerful military force in the
world against a powerful evil that will not be stopped with mere
words. Evil feeds on the fodder of opinions, but it is never stopped
by them.
Weeks ago, we sat by a lake in the
Great Rift Valley, and felt the earth vibrate under us. We could see
the vibrations rippling on the water.
The earth was moving under our feet.
When people choose to do what seems
right in their own eyes--------------- all the earth trembles.
Our only hope for a better world is if
our opinions can be made subject to the heart of the King and we work
together for what is good, for what honors God, and helps others.
Please ----- could we just stop doing
what WE think is right ----- stop
talking about what WE think others should or should not do
------ could we please just DO GOOD and follow the Good King.