Thursday, October 4, 2012
When Scariness is Laced with SACRED
Perched on a bar no more the 3 feet off the ground, little Eden shouts to here mom in a voice nearing panic, "You've got me, right momma? You won't let me fall, will you?"
Her loving mom, Sarah, is right beside her, with hands less than an inch away. But Eden, she's afraid. She's unsure. She knows she could fall from this height, she feels out of control.
Mom gives Eden the chance to go beyond what she is comfortable with and experience what she hopes she can do. But mom is never far away, she won't let her daughter fall. Eden isn't quite sure, but momma knows --- she is in the space between her precious daughter and the hard ground.
Sarah is trying to help Eden get her balance on the thin, blue bar. So she grabs her only when she must. Eden sits on the thin playground railing --- her tiny 5 year old self, testing her ability to find balance on this unnatural bar beneath her. Straining to steady herself, she stiffens in fear, and screams for help, desperate to avoid a fall. But Sarah's voice remains calm and her hand remains present, she won't let her little one fall.
Perched 30 feet from the playground is another daughter, sitting beside a fire-ring, Bible in hand and laptop in her lap --- squealing just a loudly as little Eden, but in silent sort of grown up ways. Her eyes are closed, her cries are unheard by anyone other than her Father. But just as surely as Eden shouts loudly of her fear of falling, this grown up daughter squirms at her lack of ability to maintain balance on this seemingly thin rail called faith. So she cries out to her Father in almost identical ways.
"You've got me, right Daddy? You won't let me fall... will you?" It's an intense moment when the grown up daughter "hears" the parallel pleas ---- Eden's on the playground and her own sitting silently in her grownup chair. She wonders if anyone realizes her own cries are much louder than little Eden's --- we grownups have learned how to mask our cries for help --- not a good thing to have achieved.
And in the vibrating madness of that silence, comes the soul deep whispers from her very present Father God, "I'm as close to you as Sarah is to her precious Eden. I'm closer even still. I'm just letting you feel the stretch of this new balance, but my hands are under you. My presence is nearer than you can imagine."
"It's a scariness that has a sacredness laced with it."
"It will help you balance well at even higher heights if I allow you to grow in your confidence at this level.
Not confidence in yourself,
but confidence that I am with you,
you are mine,
and I will see you through."
"So take a deep breath daughter. Try and relax, remembering you and I are together.
It's easier to balance when you relax."
"No matter how high you climb or how low you choose to stay, I will be with you. Just as surely as Sarah stays near to her dear Eden, so it is with Me and you daughter. If need be, Sarah would give her life to protect her little one.
I know this well...
I already have...
so come on, let's climb.
©2012 Donna Taylor/Reaching for the Robe